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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Baseball
Humor
Funny
Often
Going
Men
Bald
Caps
Wear
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner