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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Often
Going
Men
Bald
Caps
Wear
Baseball
Humor

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner