Quote

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Important
Buttons
Men
Phones
Like
Lots
Humor
Funny
Makes
Feel
Feels

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Image
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
Image
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Image
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner
Image
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
Image
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner
Image
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
Image
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
Image
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
Image
My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner