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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Bald
Arrogance
Careful
Usually
Humor
Rich
Nice
Funny
Cancels

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner