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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Nice
Funny
Cancels
Men
Bald
Arrogance
Careful
Usually
Humor
Rich

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner