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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Bald
Arrogance
Careful
Usually
Humor
Rich
Nice
Funny
Cancels

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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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