Quote

After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Person
Stamps
Legal
Start
Wrong
Next
Dated
Doesn
Stamp
Someone
Scratch
Persons
Scratches

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
Image
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
Image
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Image
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
Image
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Image
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita Rudner
Image
Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
Image
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Image
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Image
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
Image
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
Image
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
Image
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner