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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Legal
Start
Wrong
Next
Dated
Doesn
Stamp
Someone
Scratch
Persons
Scratches
Person
Stamps
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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