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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Next
Dated
Doesn
Stamp
Scratch
Someone
Scratches
Persons
Stamps
Person
Legal
Start
Wrong
More quotes by Rita Rudner
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner