Quote

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Amicable
Condom
Divorce
Doesn
Work

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner