Quote

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Divorce
Doesn
Work
Like
Amicable
Condom

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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