Quote

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Amicable
Condom
Divorce
Doesn
Work

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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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