Quote

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Divorce
Doesn
Work
Like
Amicable
Condom

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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