Quote

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Learn
Hate
Experience
Tell
Someone
Enough
Advance
Something
Learning
Like
Nice

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner