Quote

I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Someone
Enough
Advance
Something
Learning
Like
Nice
Learn
Hate
Experience
Tell

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner