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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Individual
Hitched
Need
Irritate
Needs
Adore
Life
Discover
Extraordinary
Remains
Unique
Whatever

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner