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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Extraordinary
Remains
Unique
Whatever
Individual
Hitched
Need
Irritate
Needs
Adore
Life
Discover

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner