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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Assembling
Furniture
Cry
Men

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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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