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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Assembling
Furniture
Cry

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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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