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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Assembling
Furniture
Cry
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner