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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Assembling
Furniture
Cry
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner