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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Assembling
Furniture
Cry
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner