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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Assembling
Furniture
Cry
Men

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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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