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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Jogged
Miles
Worst
Hours
Three
Life

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner