Quote

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Jogged
Miles
Worst
Hours
Three
Life

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner
Image
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
Image
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Image
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
Image
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Image
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
Image
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
Image
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner