Quote

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Calling
Married
Instead
Fianc
Wasn
Cousin
Wrong
Subtle
Money
Kept
Reason
Totally
Real
Reasons

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner