Quote

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Real
Reasons
Men
Calling
Married
Instead
Fianc
Wasn
Cousin
Wrong
Subtle
Money
Kept
Reason
Totally

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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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