Quote

My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Calling
Married
Instead
Fianc
Wasn
Cousin
Wrong
Subtle
Money
Kept
Reason
Totally
Real
Reasons

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Image
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
Image
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
Image
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
Image
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Image
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
Image
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Image
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner