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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Never
Signals
Pretend
Friendly
Weren
Growing
Doorbell
Father
Sociability
Thought
Ringing
Home
Signal
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
