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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Father
Sociability
Thought
Ringing
Home
Signal
Never
Signals
Pretend
Friendly
Weren
Growing
Doorbell
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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