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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Growing
Doorbell
Father
Sociability
Thought
Ringing
Home
Signal
Never
Signals
Pretend
Friendly
Weren
More quotes by Rita Rudner
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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