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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Home
Signal
Never
Signals
Pretend
Friendly
Weren
Growing
Doorbell
Father
Sociability
Thought
Ringing
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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