Quote

My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Friendly
Weren
Growing
Doorbell
Father
Sociability
Thought
Ringing
Home
Signal
Never
Signals
Pretend

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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