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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Even
Men
Like
People
Furniture
Bears
Live
Wells
Well

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Never take candy from strangers.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner