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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Bears
Live
Wells
Well
Even
Men
Like
People
Furniture

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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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