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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Wells
Well
Even
Men
Like
People
Furniture
Bears
Live

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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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