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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Anyone
Funny
Tell
Else
Care
Ever
Mirror
Looks
Mirrors
Way
Humor

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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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