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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Way
Humor
Men
Anyone
Funny
Tell
Else
Care
Ever
Mirror
Looks
Mirrors

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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