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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town
Towns
Dog
Actually
Place

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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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