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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Towns
Dog
Actually
Place
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town

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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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