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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Towns
Dog
Actually
Place
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner