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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Place
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town
Towns
Dog
Actually

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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