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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town
Towns
Dog
Actually
Place

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner