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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Actually
Place
Transient
Rent
Angeles
Town
Towns
Dog

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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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