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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Town
Towns
Dog
Actually
Place
Transient
Rent
Angeles

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner