Quote

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Nerdy
Easier
Bathing
Funny
Depressing
Two
Types
Women
Suits
Men
Buying
Time
Clothes
Type

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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