Quote

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Women
Suits
Men
Buying
Time
Clothes
Type
Humor
Nerdy
Easier
Bathing
Funny
Depressing
Two
Types

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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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