Quote

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Buying
Time
Clothes
Type
Humor
Nerdy
Easier
Bathing
Funny
Depressing
Two
Types
Women
Suits

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner