Quote

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Buying
Time
Clothes
Type
Humor
Nerdy
Easier
Bathing
Funny
Depressing
Two
Types
Women
Suits

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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