Quote

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dress
Much
Dresses
Ugly
Clothes
Says
Fire
Better
Holds
Looks

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
Image
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
Image
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
Image
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
Image
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
Image
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
Image
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Image
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Image
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
Image
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
Image
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner