Quote

A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Ugly
Clothes
Says
Fire
Better
Looks
Holds
Much
Dress
Dresses

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Rita Rudner