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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dresses
Ugly
Clothes
Says
Fire
Better
Holds
Looks
Much
Dress

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner