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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Fur
Cats
Cat
Waste

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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