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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Sex
Wonder
Experience
Look
Looks
Men
Ruth
Gained
Sexual
More quotes by Rita Rudner
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner