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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Easygoing
Money
Monogamous
Men
Billionaires
Like
Billionaire
Stay
Humor
Funny
Away

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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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