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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Billionaires
Billionaire
Stay
Humor
Funny
Away
Money
Easygoing
Men
Monogamous

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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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