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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Billionaires
Billionaire
Stay
Humor
Funny
Away
Money
Easygoing
Men
Monogamous

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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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