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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Billionaire
Stay
Humor
Funny
Away
Money
Easygoing
Men
Monogamous
Like
Billionaires

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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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