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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Funny
Away
Money
Easygoing
Men
Monogamous
Like
Billionaires
Billionaire
Stay

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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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