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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Stay
Humor
Funny
Away
Money
Easygoing
Men
Monogamous
Like
Billionaires
Billionaire

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner