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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Party
Clothing
Funny
Embarrassed
Black
Wearing
Another
Seriously
Women
Walk
Take
Humor
Tuxedo
Much
Walks
Tuxedos
Never
Seen
Clothings
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner