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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dress
Dresses
Favorite
Like
Sale
Designer

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner