Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Unfortunately
Littles
Lower
Little
Case
York
Ones
Humor
Cases
Shaped
Nice
Apartment
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner