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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Cases
Shaped
Nice
Apartment
Funny
Unfortunately
Littles
Lower
Little
Case
York
Ones
Humor

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner