Quote

Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Flowers
Like
Smell
Perfumes
Car
Interior
Flower
Interiors
Idea
Perfume
Women
Attract
Ideas
Scent
Great
Wearing

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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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