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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Long
Inches
Handbag
Would
Mature
Kangaroos
Envy
Setup
Develop
Setups
Extraordinary
Handbags
Baby
Proceeds
Pouch
Gets
Womb
Crawls
Two
Pregnancy
Kangaroo
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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