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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Would
Mature
Kangaroos
Envy
Setup
Develop
Setups
Extraordinary
Handbags
Baby
Proceeds
Pouch
Gets
Womb
Crawls
Two
Pregnancy
Kangaroo
Long
Inches
Handbag
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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