Quote

It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Two
Shape
Things
Six
Life
Shapes
Angry
Months
Week
Takes
Stop
Weeks

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner