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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Takes
Stop
Weeks
Two
Shape
Things
Six
Life
Shapes
Angry
Months
Week
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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